Chapter 24: A Thorough Tongue-Lashing

This time, while I didn't come back with the specific clues I was looking for, I could still say I returned with a full haul.

I didn't expect that the moment I walked in, I would be met with a blistering scolding from Old Man Yuan: "Do you think you did a fine job, is that it?"

"Bullshit!"

"Pah—"

"Tell me, what kind of mess is this that you've made?"

Standing up to berate me wasn't enough for Old Man Yuan; he sat down, lit a pipe, poured himself some tea, and crossed his legs as he continued: "I’ll list every single mistake you made on this job, one by one!"

"First, when you went to trigger the mechanism for the Mountain-Watching Dog, why didn't you chase Qin Qing away? Dragging a deadweight like that along—are you in such a hurry to die?"

"Second, Qin Yun wanted to marry you, not consummate the marriage on the spot. Why couldn't you just play along? Can't you sweet-talk her? Now look, you let her slip away, and she’s just going to keep pestering you. Are you two ever going to be done with each other?"

"Third, you managed to retrieve the dagger, so why didn't you bring back the Mountain-Cleaving Axe as well? How many times do I have to tell you? Every little bit counts. You basically threw away a pig’s leg for nothing, you know that?"

"Fourth, when you didn't kill Qin Qing at the time, were you considering my words, thinking he might still be useful?"

"Let me tell you, nothing is ever set in stone. Qin Qing is only useful if he thinks of you as his benefactor. If he sees you as an enemy, you have to get rid of him immediately. Don't leave a snake lurking in the shadows watching you."

"And after Qin Qing turned into a ghost, you didn't destroy his soul either. Was that because you looked down on him, and couldn't even be bothered to kill him, right?"

"Even a bedbug that needs squashing should be squashed. Otherwise, it might just land in your rice bowl and disgust you."

Old Man Yuan finished one pipe and immediately started another: "It's a good thing you didn't tell me you spared him out of pity, or I would’ve died of rage right then and there."

"I've told you many times: as a practitioner, you can never be soft-hearted toward ghosts. But I'll remind you again!"

"You are a practitioner; he is a ghost."

"The strong kill the weak. It’s an inherent, opposing relationship."

"It’s just like a cat and a mouse; it’s not always clear who is the cat. When you cross paths, there's no need for sympathy, and certainly no need to overthink it."

"Before a cat eats a mouse, does it ask if the mouse has an eighty-year-old mother or a three-year-old child at home? If a mouse tells a cat a sob story, does the cat just stop eating it?"

"If the mouse tells the cat it has a wife who only knows how to spend money, does the cat go and carve off two pounds of its own flesh to subsidize the mouse's household?"

Old Man Yuan, likely parched from all the yelling, took a sip of tea and cleared his throat: "Tell me, how many mistakes have you made? Don't you think you deserve a self-reflection?"

I said calmly, "Actually, if you hadn't swindled Qin Qing out of that sickle, maybe there wouldn't have been so much trouble afterward, would there?"

"Are you saying this is all my fault?" Old Man Yuan’s beard trembled with rage: "If you want to be the death of me, just say so!"

I bared my teeth at him: "Squeak, squeak, squeak!"

Old Man Yuan slapped his thigh in frustration: "You wicked brat! What kind of sins did I commit in my past life to end up with a wretch like you?"

"You’re going to be the death of me!"

"I'm leaving! I'm leaving right now!"

"Out of sight, out of mind, I..."

I pulled out the dagger I’d brought back from the secret vault and slammed it onto the table: "This dagger is quite nice. Aren't you going to take a look?"

Old Man Yuan, who had just been threatening to leave, sat back down as if nothing had happened. He donned his deerskin gloves and examined the blade for a long time before saying: "The origins of this thing are likely not simple! You were fooled by those immortals on the mountain again!"

He pointed to two characters at the base of the blade: "These are seal script characters. They read 'Immortal Piercer'."

"Immortal Piercer must be the name of this dagger. It was likely crafted specifically to deal with immortals or Taoists. It can suppress the aura of an immortal spirit."

"This blade makes those immortals very uncomfortable. Even if you hadn't taken it, they would have had to give it to you. If you test them further, you might be able to squeeze even more benefits out of them."

"You really did throw away another pig’s leg."

Old Man Yuan pointed at me from across the room: "You spendthrift brat. Why don't you ever know how to hoard money for the household? Living in the provincial capital, eating, drinking—that all costs money. You don't know the value of salt and rice because you don't run the house."

After lecturing me, he added: "This dagger has been soaked in corpse poison and resentment for at least three hundred years, yet the poison is locked within the blade so it doesn't harm the wielder. This is masterful craftsmanship! Once a person is scratched by this, and the poison enters their body, even a god couldn't save them."

"You can carry up to seven daggers on you. Keep this one with you; it will be of great use. I'll find someone to make you a sheath tomorrow."

Old Man Yuan muttered to himself, almost as if talking to the air: "Why do I get the feeling that the 'Immortal Piercer' and your 'Drifting Snow' blade came from the same hand? Could it be that you were destined to possess this dagger?"

Old Man Yuan didn't wait for me to reply and changed the subject: "Tell me, what other oversights were there on this trip?"

This time, I didn't bicker with him: "Hu the Elder clearly said there were three Taoists on Three-Ridge Mountain, yet there was only one zombie in the coffin. Where did the other two go?"

"Logically, those who practice evil arts are not exactly humble or generous people. They would never give up their chance at immortality to help someone else, not even their own martial brothers."

"And so?" Old Man Yuan pressed.

I replied: "I think there are two possibilities. One is that the other two Taoists were killed by the zombie. The second is that they found a better place, which is why they abandoned the secret vault beneath the Plum Blossom Temple."

"I lean toward the second theory. The remaining two Taoists must have another secret vault, and it shouldn't be too far from Three-Ridge Mountain."

Old Man Yuan finally looked satisfied: "Why don't you think they should be under the Plum Blossom Temple?"

"'A wily rabbit has three burrows!'" I said, then shook my head: "No, that’s not it. The yellow-robed Taoist who turned into a zombie occupied all the terrestrial energy near Three-Ridge Mountain. If they stayed there, they’d only be inviting more competition. So, they definitely had to move."

Old Man Yuan seemed to be testing me on purpose: "Tell me, should we track down those other two Taoists?"

"We must find them!" I said seriously: "The Mountain-Watching Dog at Three-Ridge Mountain was likely guarding the mountain for the sake of that zombie."

"The other two Taoists must also have Mountain-Watching Dogs guarding them. Finding them is the same as finding the dogs."

"Fine! You’re clever enough, I suppose," Old Man Yuan said. "Go cook! I'm starving!"

I stood up and headed for the door. Old Man Yuan shouted behind me: "You little brat, where are you going?"

"To buy two pig legs to feed the old rabbit!" I walked out without looking back.

If he says I lost two pig legs, I’ll buy two and eat them myself—let's see if he gets jealous.

As it turned out, Old Man Yuan ate an entire pig leg by himself. That man really has no shame.