Chapter One: The Immortal Realm?

Pain, a searing, bone-deep pain—his body felt as though he’d been ruthlessly kicked hundreds of times. His face, in particular, must look like a boiled pig’s head, grotesquely swollen. Drifting up from unconsciousness, Li Chengzhu couldn’t help but curse under his breath.

Why? He finally managed to take a vacation, and ended up struck by lightning. What had he done to deserve this? Indignation simmered within him.

In his muddled memory, he seemed to recall a woman—he’d been holding her as they soared into the sky together.

Great, the lightning must have fried his brain! Li Chengzhu thought bitterly. Otherwise, why did this hallucination feel so absurdly real?

He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a wrinkled, ancient face so close to his own he could practically smell the stench of the man’s breath.

“Young master, you’re awake?” The old man beamed as Li Chengzhu’s eyelids fluttered open.

The pungent odor overpowered the pain in his body, prompting Li Chengzhu to scramble backwards. As he suspected, this man’s breath was as foul as an uncleaned latrine. Stifling his disgust, he said, “Back up. How long has it been since you brushed your teeth?”

“Brushed my teeth?” The old man looked puzzled. “Oh, you mean mouth cleansing?”

“Same thing,” Li Chengzhu waved dismissively.

“Well, that was a long time ago… Let me think…” The old man’s expression turned grave as he began counting on his fingers.

Li Chengzhu rolled his eyes; he’d never seen such shamelessness. Was this guy so poor he couldn’t afford toothpaste? As he scrutinized the old man, shock rippled through him.

The man’s attire was straight out of antiquity—a hemp robe, a silken headscarf, hempen boots, and a long, bristling goatee. Give him a hoe and he’d be the perfect image of an ancient peasant from northern Shaanxi.

Could it be that the lightning had sent him back to ancient times? Li Chengzhu broke out in a cold sweat.

Noting the old man still furrowing his brow in calculation, Li Chengzhu’s voice trembled as he asked, “Excuse me, what era is this?”

“Era?” the old man repeated, perplexed. “If you mean the current age, it should be the year 4795 of the Heavenly Accord.”

“Heavenly Accord?” Li Chengzhu racked his brains, but couldn’t recall any dynasty with such a name, nor any empire that had ruled unbroken for over four thousand years. Could this be… another world?

He glanced around. Not far away sprawled a dense forest, towering trees stretching into the clouds, unfamiliar birds perching on the branches, and unknown beasts occasionally darting from the undergrowth. There were no clouds in the sky, no sun—only a diffuse, milky white light. Wasn’t this the archetype of a legendary otherworld?

“Heavens, just kill me now,” Li Chengzhu wailed. He’d thought being blasted to ancient times was bad enough, but this—this was a whole different world.

“Young master, why do you despair? Isn’t coming here the dream of all mortals? Why cry so bitterly?” The old man looked utterly baffled.

“If only I’d slept with my girlfriend the night before last! Why did I bother playing the innocent? I’m still a virgin! Now that I’m gone, she’ll definitely find someone else.” Li Chengzhu sobbed, beating his chest in regret.

The old man stroked his beard in silence.

When Li Chengzhu finally wore himself out, the old man asked, “Do you truly wish to return?”

“What do you think? I have no powers, no magic—am I supposed to just wait around to die in this savage land?” Li Chengzhu was even more disgruntled. In stories, protagonists struck into other worlds always gained amazing abilities, commanding thunder and lightning as they pleased. Yet here he was, beaten senseless for nothing.

“Savage?” the old man’s eyes twinkled, but he didn’t argue. “Actually, it’s not entirely impossible.”

The prospect of returning to Earth, of escaping this wild, magical world, made even Li Chengzhu’s toes tingle with excitement. Forgetting the old man’s bad breath, he leaped forward and pressed, “How?”

The old man looked him up and down, then grinned. “Attain the rank of Great Golden Immortal, and use your divine powers to force your way through the Inverse Passage!”

“What the—!” Li Chengzhu’s jaw dropped, as if an invisible banana had wedged itself into his mouth.

Great Golden Immortal, cultivation, Immortal Realm—these were terms he’d only come across in fantasy novels or idle rumors as a journalist. He’d always thought such things were pure fiction, yet here was this old eccentric speaking of them as fact. Could it be…

“So… where exactly is this?” Li Chengzhu asked, feeling as exposed and helpless as a woman stripped bare and awaiting her fate.

The old man grinned. “This is the Immortal Realm.”

Of course.

“You’re an immortal?” Li Chengzhu, ever the journalist, instinctively wanted to reach for his camera, but the pain immobilized him, his fingers stiff and unresponsive.

The old man’s smile faltered. “Ahem, I’m not quite an immortal, but I’m not far off.”

“There are non-immortals in the Immortal Realm?” Li Chengzhu was surprised.

The old man huffed. “Is everyone in the mortal realm human? Don’t be so shocked!”

Li Chengzhu scratched his head. “Fair point.”

Though disappointed that the old man wasn’t truly immortal, he couldn’t help but stammer, “Can you send me back?”

The old man rolled his eyes. “If you’re keen on being torn to pieces, you can jump into the Inverse Passage. Just don’t blame me if even your soul is obliterated. The Inverse Passage rips souls apart.”

A leaf drifted by on the wind, spiraling to the ground before Li Chengzhu’s eyes.

Another leaf drifted by…

And another…

And another…

And yet another…

The old man finally burst out, “Damn it, the author’s padding the word count! Kid, can’t you think of something to say?”

Li Chengzhu managed a weak question: “Why am I here? Isn’t this the Immortal Realm? I’m just a plain mortal.”

The old man stroked his beard. “I don’t know the details, but you ascended to the Immortal Realm clutching Gu Fairy as she flew up from the Lake of Immortal Birth.”

“Gu Fairy? Lake of Immortal Birth?” Li Chengzhu was dumbfounded.

“The Lake of Immortal Birth is the greatest treasure of the Immortal Realm—its very foundation. It’s right behind you,” the old man said, pointing.

Li Chengzhu turned to see an immense lake, so clear he could see fathoms deep. At its center, a massive whirlpool churned, stirring the waters with a force that seemed to rend the air itself.

“That whirlpool is the Inverse Passage,” the old man explained. “Cultivators from the lower realms ascend here guided by the Light of Reception, passing through that passage. For immortals to descend to the mortal world, they must withstand the passage’s force—unless, of course, they’re a Great Golden Immortal.”

Staring at the whirlpool, Li Chengzhu felt a chill. How on earth had he survived passing through that and ended up here unscathed?

The old man, reading his confusion, smiled. “Every cultivator who ascends is protected by the Lake’s power—the Light of Reception. Under its protection, you’re safe from the Inverse Passage’s force. That’s why you’re standing here unharmed.”

“But… I’ve never cultivated in my life,” Li Chengzhu protested.

The old man mused for a while. “You must have heard the saying: ‘When one ascends, even the chickens and dogs ascend with him.’ That’s your case, I think.”

“In what way?” Li Chengzhu pressed.

“Gu Fairy ascended, and you happened to get swept up with her. The Light of Reception brought you along to the Immortal Realm,” the old man guessed. Though not strictly accurate, it wasn’t far from the truth. In reality, the lightning that struck Li Chengzhu had been reflected by Gu Fairy’s treasure during her ascension. Fortunately, it was the final bolt, and the Light of Reception enveloped Li Chengzhu immediately after. Had he been hit without the Light’s protection and transformation, he would have perished on the spot.

“By chance?” Li Chengzhu gaped. “Something like this can happen by chance?”

The old man shook his head, muttering to himself, “By rights, it shouldn’t happen. Ascension may not involve tribulation, but there’s still thunder to contend with. Two people ascending together is even harder than crossing tribulation. Maybe the Thunder Lord was drunk last night…”

Li Chengzhu’s mouth twitched; he looked as forlorn as a bearded Mona Lisa.

“In any case, you’re here in the Immortal Realm now. Congratulations!” the old man said, beaming.

Congratulations? Struck by lightning for no reason, dumped in a strange land—what was there to celebrate?

Li Chengzhu curled his lip. “So, where’s this Gu Fairy now?”

No wonder the vision felt so real—it was all true. Recalling the softness he’d clutched in his daze, Li Chengzhu let out a lascivious chuckle.

“She’s gone,” the old man replied tersely.

“Gone? Where?” Li Chengzhu bristled. If that wasn’t a hallucination, then those dainty feet that had mercilessly pummeled his face were real too! No wonder his face still felt swollen.

“She’s gone to report to the Celestial Court. Having ascended, she’s now under their jurisdiction,” the old man explained matter-of-factly.

Li Chengzhu muttered another curse.

The old man leaned in, leering, “Young master, do you bear her a grudge?”

“No!”

“Did you steal her treasure?”

“No!”

“Then… did you take liberties with her?” The old man’s eyes widened in amazement.

Li Chengzhu snapped, “What are you getting at?”

The old man stroked his beard. “Gu Fairy is actually quite beautiful…” He shuddered as though recalling something dreadful. “Just a bit fierce. It’s understandable—if anyone had to share half their Light of Reception with someone else, even an immortal would be furious. So, even if she kicked you a few hundred times and slapped you silly, you shouldn’t blame her… Oh, did I mention? The Light of Reception also shapes a brand-new immortal body for the ascendant.”

No wonder he felt like he’d been trampled by a mob—turns out that crazy woman had pummeled him senseless.

“Oh, by the way,” the old man added, “before Gu Fairy left for the Celestial Court, she told me to take good care of you.”

Li Chengzhu was taken aback. “She actually has a conscience?”

“She said she’ll come back to deal with you properly once she has some free time.”

…