Chapter Sixty-Seven: The Day of Holy War
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PS: I suddenly couldn't continue with the Gundam part, so I decided to just gloss over it.
On December 24, 1946, Shen Chong, a female student at Peking University, claimed to have been raped by two American soldiers, sparking an anti-American wave across China.
On December 24, 1979, the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan.
On December 24, 1982, Tetsuya Kakihara, a Japanese male voice actor (one of my favorites), was born.
On December 24, 2008, Japanese actress Ai Iijima committed suicide at home at the age of 36.
On December 24, 2012, Hao Ren, grateful to have survived the end of the world, arrived at school and, together with a crowd of weary souls, watched Old Wang on the podium spit and sputter as he lectured on educational psychology for hypnosis.
December 24th—the 358th day of the Gregorian calendar, the day before Jesus' grand birth, Christmas Eve in the West, the annual hotel party day where seventy million young women bleed rivers, the day of holy war for the FFF Brigade, and also Hao Ren's birthday.
Kicked out of the house early in the morning by Saya and the others, Hao Ren found himself accompanied only by a black cat. With nowhere to go, he whimsically headed to school.
Since the SD Gundam storyline concluded, Hao Ren had finally obtained some well-deserved rest. Although his Black Astray had been erased by the Mainframe (since it was only temporary), the Strike and Duel he acquired later still managed to leave that world with him. Facing the “White Blade,” who released a pitiful puppy-dog gaze attack with his nearly closed, slitted eyes, Hao Ren was utterly defeated. A hopeless haggler, Hao Ren offered the system price—2830 plus 2750, totaling 5580—while “White Blade” generously threw in 10,000 points and even claimed he was getting a good deal. Hao Ren had no choice but to accept.
Around this time last year, Hao Ren, then a high school senior, and his buddy Yue Xiang both skipped class to hit the streets handing out free, pre-pierced condoms.
But...
The mission failed before it began—they forgot their red armbands and were mistaken by city inspectors for illegal street vendors. A wild chase ensued, and their wish to let those detestable heterosexuals play mom and dad went unfulfilled.
Tch—lucky for you.
The defenseless condoms in the trash can were soaked with Hao Ren and Yue Xiang’s resentment.
At least this year, he wouldn’t spend his birthday alone! Hao Ren wondered what sort of surprise Saya and the others had in store for him. Lost in thought, he was startled back to reality by Old Wang banging the chalk on the blackboard.
On this important day, the already sparse students continued to slip out the back door in dribs and drabs. The good-tempered Old Wang picked up a piece of chalk and wrote furiously on the board.
“Trying to keep students in class by taking attendance is like a mistress trying to keep a man by getting pregnant!” — Old Wang.
Well said!
But it’s pointless!
Hao Ren sighed and began to look around, while the black cat shifted comfortably in his arms.
Brother Roe stared blankly at the ceiling, looking completely drained of life.
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Apparently sensing Hao Ren’s gaze, Brother Roe’s eyes regained a hint of vitality.
“What’s wrong, Roe?” Hao Ren adjusted his glasses.
By the way, Hao Ren had sacrificed his “Ishii Shiki’s Contact Lenses” in the “Equivalent Exchange Altar” and obtained a new item: “Villager A’s Glasses.”
Item: Villager A’s Glasses. When equipped, any creature with a mental attribute lower than the wearer will, to the greatest extent, overlook the wearer’s presence—just like Villager A, who only provides fixed information to heroes. Can be turned on or off at will.
Black-rimmed glasses: the first choice of every reserved guy. You’re worth it.
“Uh, um, will you listen to me?” Brother Roe stammered.
“Go ahead,” Hao Ren replied, adopting a listener’s posture.
Brother Robe recounted the story of a friend of a friend—Man P.
Imagine: if a girl keeps seeking you out for no reason, shares all her secrets, and is totally comfortable with physical contact, wouldn’t you think she likes you?
That’s exactly what Man P thought.
On an important day, the girl came to Man P as usual. They chatted and laughed—everything was harmonious.
“So, can you tell me who you like? Just the first letter of their name is fine,” Man P finally mustered the courage to probe her indirectly.
“Umm…” the girl hesitated shyly. “It’s P!”
“What? You mean me?” Man P was over the moon. Could it be…?
“Huh? What are you talking about? That’s really gross. Can you not say things like that?” The girl looked at him with obvious disgust.
Brother Roe’s eyes looked as dead as a fish’s.
Damn! That’s definitely his own dark past!
The three great human delusions: phone vibrations, I can win the fightback, she likes me.
LOL.
Permit me a sad expression.
Hao Ren’s mouth nearly split to the back of his head with laughter. Even the black cat, though incapable of smiling, revealed its mood through its crescent-shaped, squinting eyes.
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“I say, Hao Ren, why do you think people live in this world?” Uh-oh, looks like Brother Robe had sunk into a weird state and was getting all philosophical.
“Second Brother, Brother Roe, I did it!” Before Hao Ren could respond, Xiaoqiang suddenly crept up behind them, his voice low and shifty, yet exultant.
Demacia!
“I confessed to a girl today, and she said yes.” Without waiting for them to ask, Xiaoqiang blurted out the source of his excitement.
Hao Ren broke out in a cold sweat, vaguely hearing the sound of a landmine being triggered.
He turned to see that Brother Roe no longer had dead fish eyes; instead, they glowed a predatory green, his expression twisted and ferocious.
“Brother Roe, do you think I should take her out to dinner and a movie, or coffee and the amusement park?” Oblivious to the disaster he’d just unleashed, Xiaoqiang was still trying to share his joy with Brother Roe.
Brother Roe’s face screamed, “Last year, I bought a watch!”
“Amitabha…” Hao Ren quietly pulled the rear door of the classroom shut, freezing the scene inside with Brother Roe pouncing in midair.
The overcoat remained the same, the black cat still nestled in Hao Ren’s arms with just its little head poking out.
This black cat could read words and understand human language; it didn’t seem like an ordinary feline.
Hao Ren had never heard it meow, and the contract creature interface showed no data at all—its existence was a mystery.
He patted its tiny head, and it simply rubbed comfortably against his hand.
Well, as long as it’s cute, that’s enough—Hao Ren’s face was suffused with healing warmth.
After completing the “Starfall” storyline, Hao Ren was notified by the Mainframe that his next instance would be a promotion quest.
Finally, he was about to become an intermediate player!
He wondered what kind of perks came with the promotion.
Saya had ordered him not to return home before 6 p.m., and since he’d already skipped this rare class, Hao Ren suddenly realized he truly had nowhere to go.
The rousing theme “βios” began to play. Hao Ren glanced at the caller ID—it was Xiaoqiang. You’re still alive after Brother Roe was through with you?