Chapter 47: Target—Akihabara

“It’s alright, Ah Lu. When Sadaharu enters his mating season, he always mounts the plush toy, but after a while he’ll stop on his own,” Kagura said, looking as if she understood everything perfectly.

Hao Ren’s eye twitched as he glanced over at Sadaharu, who was furiously hammering away at a doll named Barbara. The scene was nothing short of brutal.

Hao Ren gestured with his hands—Good heavens! Sadaharu’s equipment was absurdly oversized.

“That won’t work, because Shin-chan is in heat all year round,” Sister Otae commented, even throwing shade at her own brother.

“What do you guys actually think Shinbaji is?” Gintoki, who had just recovered from tattered ruin to pristine condition, sighed helplessly at Otae’s remark.

In a sense, Otae wasn’t wrong. Among all animals, only rabbits and humans are in heat year-round.

“Do dating games really turn men into that?” Otae’s mood plummeted.

“A so-called gal game, Miss Otae,” Hao Ren’s cabinet door suddenly opened above his head, revealing a gorilla face.

“It’s a game where lots of beautiful girls appear, and the goal is to win their hearts,” the gorilla face explained eloquently.

“Why does this guy show up as though it’s the most natural thing in the world? Why does he act like he’s always been here?” Gintoki’s face darkened.

Kondo Isao, though technically a rank-and-file official, had unfortunately invested his talent points all wrong. His greatest hobby and skill was stalking, but his reconnaissance and counter-surveillance abilities were just wasted.

“So, for men who aren’t popular, this is the only way to enjoy romance without getting hurt,” the gorilla’s words nearly brought Hao Ren to tears.

While Gintoki and the others advanced the plot, Hao Ren checked his personal interface.

The link effect of “Summoning Heart” was still present, but the attribute bonuses were gone. Aside from intelligence being 9, all other stats showed as average.

Back to the generic face again—Hao Ren was quite resentful.

“Dimensional Space” still existed, but once the girls entered, they couldn’t come out. The only one he could still contact was Saeko, thanks to the “Magic Contract” card.

“Rail Logic,” a non-combat skill, hadn’t been sealed by the main brain.

What comforted Hao Ren most was that “Golden Rule” hadn’t been sealed. Now almost no different from a regular person, if he lost this high-class skill, life would be tough. He couldn’t just mooch off Gintoki’s raw egg rice, could he?

There were many players in this world now. Most had started their under-the-table jobs. Those who couldn’t speak the language or find work could only resign themselves to fate.

The toil of work made these people, accustomed to being above others, recall the hardships of their past.

The item bar had been sealed as well, so those who wanted to steal from supermarkets found their hopes dashed.

Was this instance really an advancement scenario? Hao Ren felt like he’d been swindled by the main brain. With his 9 points of intelligence, he could rack his brains all day and still not figure it out.

“Black Flame, get me a machine that can play this damned game. I’m entrusting this crucial task to you,” Gintoki placed a sincere hand on Hao Ren’s shoulder.

In reality, all his money had been spent on pachinko yesterday. Now he planned to check the vending machines for loose coins, and naturally, he’d dump the responsibility onto his junior.

“Wait—” Before Hao Ren could finish a word, Gintoki had vanished without a trace.

Forced side quest: Players must obtain two 4DS consoles and two sets of “Love Sleep” first edition limited, and deliver one set to “Gintoki Sakata” within a day. No reward for completion; if you fail, “Gintoki Sakata” will be detained at the pachinko parlor for ten days to work off the debt.

Quest hint: “My Wife, World’s Number One Martial Arts Tournament” will be held in three days. If “Gintoki Sakata” isn’t around, players can’t participate.

Quest hint: If you have spare cash, redeem “Gintoki Sakata’s” No. 3 jacket and No. 3 Lake Toya sword as well.

Now penniless, Hao Ren was forcibly saddled with this mission.

Well… First, let’s check the prices. They’re probably not cheap.

First edition limited… Could this be the culprit behind the Phantom Invasion caused by Ginshao?

Not wanting to suffer a Phantom Invasion from Auntie Hirako, Hao Ren was instantly fired up, rushing to borrow money from Sister Otae. With the cost doubling every three days, Hao Ren managed to borrow two thousand yen in startup funds.

“Demon!” Hao Ren wailed, boarding the train to Akihabara.

Stepping into the station, Hao Ren suddenly wondered: Could his “Love Sleep” character also be Hirako?

His passionate heart instantly plummeted below freezing.

“I don’t want an auntie…” Hao Ren muttered, having developed the habit of talking to himself.

The railway—that’s where Makoto died. Better pay respects first.

Forcing himself to shift his attention, Hao Ren pressed his hands together, his expression solemn.

Upon boarding the train, Hao Ren noticed something: a middle-aged man with bushy nose hair was molesting a woman… Wait, Hao Ren felt like he’d seen this woman before.

Oh! Right! That was the one called Hamguts.

This woman before Hao Ren was enormous—she could have swallowed two Hao Rens whole. Her Shibuya-style skin was deep brown, her lipstick blindingly pink, and her eyes were mere slits.

A bona fide piggy type!

Rather than being molested, she seemed to be enjoying it, even making indecent noises.

If it were a beautiful woman being molested, there might be bystanders watching.

But judging by the expressions of the other passengers and Hao Ren, as well as the circle of vomit a meter away from the pair, their disgust had reached new heights.

Faced with all the pixelated mess on the floor, Hao Ren felt like vomiting again. Seeing Hao Ren retch, the other passengers couldn’t hold back and vomited again.

An endless vicious cycle…

Finally reaching his destination, everyone in the carriage bolted out like madmen, leaving only these two with their extreme tastes.

Hao Ren’s stamina and mental attributes both suffered a temporary -2 effect.

Hell could hardly be worse.

The Edo-flavored Akihabara was a first for Hao Ren.

He wandered until he found a handheld specialty store.

4DS: 15,000 yen. “Love Sleep” first edition limited: 6,980 yen.

Good heavens! How realistic these prices are!